Center Of Attention

from by Serene Envy

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There's a saying that says "As you grow older don't forget your parents do too".

lyrics

The world revolves around me. I am the limelight
This is my life, what I like. All about my needs
A small town girl with a worldwide view set
Frankly, this is for me. I don't care whether you've heard my music
Cant really see myself as anything else at this point
I'm twenty but in my heart I still view myself as a boy
Cause I'm strong. Dammit
I didn't want to be this damaged.
And I will never complain about what I was and wasn't handed
I see these pictures of these people with their parents. Mom and dad
I no longer speak to my mother. I can't remember a time where I always have
After everything we went thru its hurts and it just got hard to act
Like fighting for me was worth it, so she started talking smack
Now I'm that daughter that nobody ever planned
Now I'm that daughter that stole from you all your plans
And I'll admit getting blamed for this I've gotten sick of
But truth is, I'm that kid you shouldve gotten rid of





You never had my back. You just hid behind it
Whenever life attacked. I'd get in to fight it
Everything for you. Tell me that this isn't true
Tell me that I didn't try to protect your image in all id do (x2)



while all you did was ignore mine without no interest
Every issue youd go thru I'd call mine too
Didn't think I'd self destruct after I'd tell the truth
Then years later I fell in love with someone just like you
That person snatched the best years of my life then left mine too
Couldn't give no more to either of ya, but deep down I guess I knew
Cause I'm maaaad dammit
What did I get my hands in
Momma I love you so much
But this is something you'll never understand and
This is why I'm mad, it ain't about you
The life we had, we made it out, who
Woulda thought we would've conquered what it
Did to us, but why did u stop loving me in the process of it



Why do you make me feel like i wasnt struggling?
Like what i was dealing with was nothing,
I wasnt healing i was BUGGIN
Every problem, every outburst i would keep it in my stomach
Couldnt rest, barely slept, awake every evening after sunset
Daddys working late, momma too depressed to serve us up a plate
And who the hell knows how I ended up performing on a stage
It wasn’t until that evening while you were I sleeping
I snuck into your room, sunset coming thru
I was going thru your drawers looking thru some forms
Bottle after bottle and I questioned if those pills were really yours
I stormed out the room didn’t really close the door
Threw my sneakers on hands over my face sitting on the porch
All those years I asked God why you didn’t love me more
And I didn’t realize you didn’t feel fine, my problems became yours
Ive done and said things no other mom would think forgive
complaining about not being loved when my momma really did

credits

from THE EARTH IS BALD, released August 30, 2015
Pete Rock - Center of Attention Instrumental
Serene Envy

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