1. |
They Just Don't Get It
01:20
|
|||
2. |
Center Of Attention
03:19
|
|
||
The world revolves around me. I am the limelight
This is my life, what I like. All about my needs
A small town girl with a worldwide view set
Frankly, this is for me. I don't care whether you've heard my music
Cant really see myself as anything else at this point
I'm twenty but in my heart I still view myself as a boy
Cause I'm strong. Dammit
I didn't want to be this damaged.
And I will never complain about what I was and wasn't handed
I see these pictures of these people with their parents. Mom and dad
I no longer speak to my mother. I can't remember a time where I always have
After everything we went thru its hurts and it just got hard to act
Like fighting for me was worth it, so she started talking smack
Now I'm that daughter that nobody ever planned
Now I'm that daughter that stole from you all your plans
And I'll admit getting blamed for this I've gotten sick of
But truth is, I'm that kid you shouldve gotten rid of
You never had my back. You just hid behind it
Whenever life attacked. I'd get in to fight it
Everything for you. Tell me that this isn't true
Tell me that I didn't try to protect your image in all id do (x2)
while all you did was ignore mine without no interest
Every issue youd go thru I'd call mine too
Didn't think I'd self destruct after I'd tell the truth
Then years later I fell in love with someone just like you
That person snatched the best years of my life then left mine too
Couldn't give no more to either of ya, but deep down I guess I knew
Cause I'm maaaad dammit
What did I get my hands in
Momma I love you so much
But this is something you'll never understand and
This is why I'm mad, it ain't about you
The life we had, we made it out, who
Woulda thought we would've conquered what it
Did to us, but why did u stop loving me in the process of it
Why do you make me feel like i wasnt struggling?
Like what i was dealing with was nothing,
I wasnt healing i was BUGGIN
Every problem, every outburst i would keep it in my stomach
Couldnt rest, barely slept, awake every evening after sunset
Daddys working late, momma too depressed to serve us up a plate
And who the hell knows how I ended up performing on a stage
It wasn’t until that evening while you were I sleeping
I snuck into your room, sunset coming thru
I was going thru your drawers looking thru some forms
Bottle after bottle and I questioned if those pills were really yours
I stormed out the room didn’t really close the door
Threw my sneakers on hands over my face sitting on the porch
All those years I asked God why you didn’t love me more
And I didn’t realize you didn’t feel fine, my problems became yours
Ive done and said things no other mom would think forgive
complaining about not being loved when my momma really did
|
||||
3. |
Colors Of You
02:07
|
|||
Hung a frame of you up on my wall
above my bed
So you're with me when I'm up
thinking of nothing at all
I'm so hard on myself
because this loss wasn't so small
I came back home and never called you. I wasn't a friend.
How dare I think I had the bare right to want to prepare myself to see you with your face staring up eyes closed. I was scared as hell. Why you. Why now. Why go?
You were the funniest man that id known
Bottle in your hand I can see you by the bridge
Who wouldve thought love for your land would lead to all of this
Men approaching you funny was not part of the plan
They heard you got money on hold. Not no more. Chopped off your hands
The agony you start to demand them to stop
But how. Vision getting blurry
They grab you by your hands and knees and then you dropped
Puddle by the river currents start running even the fish are in a hurry
Walking down my block I see my dad posted up
My smile became denial nah that's not what's up
What I tell you bout them Jokes so annoyed by them
Walked in to see momma tears on the floor and I joined right in
Booked the next flight but something wasn't clicking
They claim my uncle killed himself while chugging on the liquid
Run up to his casket but I don't think he heard me thru the sniffling
Families a touchy subject. murderer was in the kitchen
Funny when it hits you cause you struggle to accept it
Everybody wanting seconds is their something that I'm missing
Spent that week at Maria's and it became so clear
How your wife going to claim to be happier now that her bae's not here?
I'm no stranger to the juice and the anger it induces
I have no need for it . my troubles are handled in my music
my brother starts chatting and theirs a turning in my stomach
When he admits to knowing who it was but how u deserved what u had coming
Never have I cried so much
Waking up that's if I slept to my eyes sown shut
When I die imma leave you the house and the cattle to raise
I laughed as we ate those tamales that sat on my plate
Nobody talked to me like you did. A star from the jump
And I'll never forget the love you showed to Uncle Mario's son
Cause a kid ain't to blame for the errors of the grown
Then again, that's something I learned better on my own
|
||||
4. |
Rap Aint
02:40
|
|
||
5. |
Sweatin' Henny
01:46
|
|||
6. |
1800SUICIDE
02:57
|
|||
7. |
H-I-P
02:46
|
|||
8. |
7/1
02:58
|
|||
9. |
Selfish
02:40
|
|||
10. |
Adjust
01:54
|
|||
11. |
Mrs. Interpret
03:35
|
|||
12. |
Over With
01:36
|
|||
13. |
Smooth Sailin'
01:46
|
|||
14. |
Great Wonders Of 95
02:48
|
|||
15. |
Wooden Ships
04:36
|
Streaming and Download help
If you like Serene Envy, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp